Feeling You Have Failed At Everything

What Makes You Feel Bad About Your Appearance? I adored him so much that his ways of living soon became my own. We were only seeing each other for a few years, yet it already felt like he had become my pillars. He was a best friend and a family to me. One day he had to leave, and so my world fell apart. His words before saying goodbye, You have to fill your own cup, so do I. He was right, so I just let him go. I fell in love many times, and each break up hit me every time. I thought I had become empty, but no, I was wrong. The truth is, I no longer had the capacity to contain. I was broken into pieces that I couldn’t hold anything anymore, not even a single drop of love for my own self. Should I blame it on love? Should we blame it on love? Should we blame it on other people that we are miserable, that we are hurt, that we are incomplete, that we are lonely? Or could it be that we are missing one very important thing? As women, we often forget our real value. We fall short on confidence and the belief that we can actually obtain almost anything and can be solely responsible for our own genuine happiness and prosperity, without anyone owing this to us.

Never Be Anyone Else But You

You may be intoxicating yourself with the thoughts that you are not enough, and not good enough, then you doubt your abilities, your looks, your body, your career, your relationships. It is this lack that makes you afraid to take up space. It is the lack of self belief that you fear. Lack of it is destructive, however, with too much of it, you meet the same end. Our universe has intertwined today. I am passionate about helping anyone in need to uplift herself from sinking to become her best version. And I have figured that my purpose is to give you a helping hand. It is a lifetime learning process. A lot of people fail to recognize that this is a discipline they can actually study and master to attain the state of being mentally strong, succeeding all adversities life may bring. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. But it’s maybe not something not many people ever stop and think about much. Of course, you may find that this level changes as you get older and have more life experience under your belt.

The Emperor's New Clothes

Can you guess why I have opened Step One with a quote about struggle and suffering? What has happened to you in your life so far. How you managed and coped with what has happened to you in your life so far. What kind of things do I mean? Or maybe you were bullied at school or had to deal with some form of body shaming which left you socially isolated. Maybe you faced serious racism or have struggled with mental health difficulties. Go back over the list above and tick those events that have already happened in your life. In fact, never mind other people. Who has it, who doesn’t? Can we measure it and once we know what we’re talking about, how can we take better care of it? He was the first academic ’thinker’ who identified the importance of valuing and thinking well of yourself. Even better than that, they would, he said, be more likely to want to do good things and not just for themselves, but for others too. Hume’s ideas divided people because he also argued that there is no permanent ’self’ which remains unchanged throughout our lives. If you have a pen and paper somewhere nearby, jot them down. I know we all work on computers but handwriting important or key words is a really good way to get an idea ingrained in your mind. He called these the I self and the Me self.

Outside Looking In

The I self, he said, is a subject of its experiences and is made up of three further distinctions which are the social self, the material self and the spiritual self. The Me self, though, is an object of experience. So, you could think of this as being the me you feel deep down, who you really are and the one you don’t show to too many people. This in itself, tells us something else that is important too. It does not exist in and of itself alone. Even on the days it feels like you have none. You have it, you’ve just misplaced it. Imagine if, instead of feeling you’ve failed each time something bad happens, you were to see it as an opportunity to pick yourself back up, live your life, and show the world what you are really made of. You can easily work out which state applies to you by answering the simple question for each state. Do you feel lovable? You will feel you have no inherent value and may feel overwhelmed by defeat and/or shame. If you are a bit older you may start using phrases like Well, I’m old now and only speak out to insult and bring yourself and your achievements to date down. This is a hard place to be and can feel hopeless. Now, the focus here is not on your best friend at all. Maybe they had good reason to reply when it was too late to meet, maybe they had an emergency they had to attend to and it has taken this long for the shock to fade and for them to let people know what happened and that they are now ok. What matters is what you told yourself when your best ever friend did not reply. Maybe they have found a new best friend who is so much better than me. Perhaps they were only ever pretending to like me.