Why Partners Blame Each Other

What are you giving in return to your partner? When you notice yourself feeling this way, you should know that you have allowed pride to take root in your relationship through you. Pride is an aspect of ego, ego leads to pride. Such pride will only destroy your relationship with your partner. A proud partner will not admit to faults, they will claim to be right all always. When your relationship is crumbling, pride will shield you from admitting or from seeing the reality. If you are too proud to admit that your relationship is sinking, you will only end up with someone who cannot help you find happiness. Remember, pride goes before a crash. Ok, those are some important signs you need to know that ego is at work in your relationship trying to tear it apart. So, so what can you do to manage the situation and save your treasured relationship? Before we examine practical ways to manage your ego and save your relationship, it is important to acknowledge that the idea here is not that you can completely remove ego, no, because whether you like it or not, ego is an inherent part of you. The idea is for you to try hard to understand your ego, explore its language and traps, and then move beyond the aspect of your ego that hinders your growth and prevents your relationship from flourishing. That said, here are a few steps you can take to manage your ego. This is an important step, and often the first, in managing your ego mind.

I Can Almost Hear You Sigh

You need to do an earnest assessment of yourself and continuously check your behavior. Doing so will help you to be alert to any parts of you that are leaning toward egotism. When you can identify any dangerous sign, you know there is a problem that needs to be checked and fixed. Think about what you are giving in your relationship and what you are getting back in return. For example, does your partner always try to give you as much time and attention as you desire? Is there a balance between what you put into your relationship and what you receive or get back? Are you doing as much as your partner to maintain your relationship and keep the communication and connection alive? We have said that pointing fingers at your partner isn’t the right thing to do, remember? Granted, we all want to see effort from our partner so that it doesn’t seem like we are the only player in the game. So, when it seems to us that we are the only player in the game, the only one trying to make a difference in our relationship, we become angry, uncared for, frustrated. We become unhappy and feel hurt within and start feeling like we don’t matter. But ask yourself, if you sit there waiting for your partner to show that you are important, don’t you think that your partner is also sitting somewhere waiting for you to show that they matter? If that is the case, who, then will break the unfruitful standoff? In this scenario, the best way to break the standoff is to point the finger at yourself, not at your partner this time. Most times, you would find that, when you point the finger at yourself and do the right thing, your partner would be at the other end pointing the finger at themselves too. The ego mind is about dominating, commanding and always being right, and it never accepts to be at fault. Whenever the ego feels threatened, it reacts defensively and lashes out on people just to protect itself. This is not what you need in your relationship.

The Name Of The Game

You have to learn to open to the idea of being wrong when you are. By doing so, you will be able to manage your defensive reactions. Also helpful is the idea of being open to different perspectives of different people, instead of making a rash judgmental call without due consideration of all the facts. Always remember that it is ok to be wrong because no one is perfect. Do not think that you are better than others. When your ego gets out of control, you become filled with the need to be superior in every what to those around you, and you start feeling and behaving as if you were actually better than others. So you should pay attention to how you can improve yourself and your relationship with your partner and other people too, instead of competing with others for who is the better. To manage your ego avoid falling out with your partner and other people around you, you have to practice tolerance. You also need to set your mind on not being offended easily. It is about knowing that everyone is different from one another and will have different ways of showing how they feel at any point in time. Being content with what you have is an important step in managing your false self and saving your relationship. When you are content with what you have, you will also need to view most of the other things that you don’t have as dispensable.

There's A Reason For It

This mindset will enable you to be more open to understanding how other people behave. But, we should never allow it to control us. We must learn to control our ego, our false image. If we let our ego go unchecked, it can cause great turbulence in our personal life which will eventually reflect in our relationships. They are examples of how partners blame one another in their relationships. Blame is a way of holding someone responsible for a wrong or for something bad that is happening or has happened. How does it feel to be on the receiving end of blame? You feel intensely irritated and frustrated. What if it seems like you are being blamed literally for everything, even after doing all that you literally can do to manage the situation?