Older Age Can Bring Opportunities To Discover Hidden Aspects

Psychologically, the development of personality, mood states, behaviors, and coping strategies influences the aging experience. In the social realm, our environmental exposures, risk factors, and protective factors are determinative. Each of these areas overlaps, so that a change in one effects change in the others. Using a biopsychosocial spiritual framework, it becomes easy to recognize that it is impossible to define successful aging in a predetermined way. There is simply too much nuance, variation, and diversification to warrant such a concept. Whether we are successful depends in large part on how we individually define success. Successful aging is just as tenable for an individual living with dementia as it is for a lifelong marathon runner. There is joy to be found if you know where to look. I encourage you to take some time and think about your definition of success and what successful aging looks like for you. As you think about what successful aging might mean to you, beware of common pitfalls and traps. The way that you define successful aging today, at your current age and stage in life, will reflect your present state of being rather than your future psyche. For example, let’s say that you are an avid mountain hiker and your definition of successful aging is the continuation of the ability to hike.

Like A Runaway Train

This makes good sense since the activity is important and meaningful for you right now. This may, or may not, be the case. As we grow older, we continue to enjoy some hobbies and activities and naturally transition away from others. Just because something is important to you now does not mean that it will hold that same level of importance later in life, nor does it mean that it will be integral to your personal experience of success. If you prematurely mourn the perceived loss of something and associate that loss with aging, you have fallen into the trap of projected distress. It is more realistic to recognize success as a fluid concept that you will define and redefine throughout your life. Resilience is the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, stress, trauma, and change. There are many aspects of our lives and aging that we cannot control or modify. Focusing on resilience empowers us to get through difficult circumstances and to grow along the way. In some respects, we have a natural tendency to become more resilient as we age. As we grow older, we have a wealth of accumulated knowledge and experience to buffer us against the hard times. This, too, shall pass.

High Ideals

With age, resilience also grows alongside emotional regulation, and we have more dispositional resources. Another way to prepare emotionally for elderhood consists of learning to focus on being rather than doing. We are so busy doing for most of our lives that we forget to talk about, much less prepare for, a future state of being. As we grow older, we have an enhanced ability to choose what is most important to us and let go of activities and relationships that are toxic or unproductive. There is also solid research and theory providing evidence that as we age, we develop the mental muscles to adapt to limitations while goal setting. The model of selective optimization with compensation, developed by Paul Baltes and Margaret Baltes, tells us that elders can successfully adapt to losses and grow through developmental opportunities.[4] Using the strategies of selection, optimization, and compensation, we learn to allocate limited resources in a productive manner that enriches our development. Through selection we decide which goals to undertake, considering any perceived challenges or losses that act as a barrier. We then optimize or refine our resources to achieve our goals. Finally, we compensate and find a new or alternative way to maintain functioning. It is unfortunate to realize that we can conceivably spend decades of our lives fearing losses, only to adjust to them with more ease than anticipated once they manifest. Elderhood allows the space for people of different backgrounds, with different interests and different abilities, to be active participants in society.

Beware Of Darkness

Doing so does not require us to be physically fit, independent, wealthy, or retired. We need merely to embrace who we are and make peace within ourselves by focusing on being and becoming. The variation and individuation are endless. Swedish gerontologist Lars Tornstam described aging as a natural, developmental process that can lead to increased perspective, maturity, and wisdom. In the realm of the self, older age can bring opportunities to discover hidden aspects of the self and a new awareness of our positive and negative traits. Through the process, we can reach a fundamental acceptance of self, of life and the past, as a way to redefine reality. Often this process will allow us to focus less on the needs of self and turn to address the needs of others. This mirrors a concept introduced by developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst Erik Erikson called generativity, which poses that older people have a developmental imperative to nurture, give back to the world, and contribute to society and future generations.[6] Regarding relationships, the need for superficiality fades away in later life and we are more particular about choosing to spend time in meaningful, authentic connections. Part of the gerotranscendent process can also include a desire for more contemplative solitude, which, as discussed earlier, should not be confused with loneliness or depression. Solitude can be a welcomed state providing the time and space for needed reflection for growth. During elderhood, we also experience a sense of freedom of self from societal limitations that previously kept us from speaking up or expressing ourselves. I have spoken with countless elders who have shared a delight in feeling the freedom to speak their minds, embrace their uniqueness, and carve their own paths. As we age into elderhood, our cosmic understanding matures and provides opportunities for us to see and feel time differently, to connect to past and future generations, to be at peace with life and death, and to find joy in the mysteries of life and the mundane.