Ask Your Friends To Fix You Up

What’s happening here? Everyone’s doing it, and it just might be a way to find new love. Most men readily admit they love a woman who can whip up some home cooking, and my female clients have told me that a man in the kitchen is as good as it gets. As Trisha, one of my private clients, so pointedly said, If a man can cook, it means he has the ability to take care of me. If you are a woman looking for a man who can turn up the heat in the kitchen, pick a class such as Gourmet Grilling, Baking with Beer, or Baking with Bacon, where guys might be more likely to gravitate. Not up for chopping, baking, slicing, and dicing? Borrow a friend’s dog and head to a dog park. Volunteer at a neighborhood organization for kids. Or pick a professional sports team for the season and buy a handful of tickets. For instance, just think of how many times you’ve interacted with a checkout clerk or bag boy at your local grocery store. Your first trip to the store may have been nothing more than a hello, a credit card swipe, and a dash for your car. In return, you’ve discovered that Mike works nights at the store to pay his way through college. But in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think that you wouldn’t have been as attracted to this person if you had met outside of work. It’s the mere exposure effect in action.

Climb That Hill

Are you drawn to this person, or are you attracted to the newness or secrecy? Will an office romance create too much competition between you and this person? What would happen if you break up? Will you still be able to work together and treat each other respectfully and professionally? If you are a manager, would other employees feel the relationship shows preferential treatment? How will you be able to effectively supervise and review this person? Have you checked the official policies at work? Second on the list of top dating strategies are blind dates. Sure, blind dates aren’t always successful. But the reality is, a successful blind date can be an excellent way to meet someone who is compatible with you. When the married people in my study are asked about how they met, one of the most common answers is We were fixed up. I know we’ve all heard about or experienced the I swear I’ll never do that again blind date, but please take my advice and give it a try! It’s a myth that blind dates don’t work. It’s also a myth that blind dates are only for people who are desperate. Many people wrongly believe that getting fixed up on a date is the equivalent of throwing in the towel and screaming, All right already, I’ll do it! but that’s far from the truth. Why not tune them back in? She told me, Do people really think I can’t make it on my own? When Jim and I met, we had an instant connection. I felt like I had known him for years! Jim and I started out with a handful of dates, and nine months later, there’s no breaking us apart. My sister’s not one to say I told you so, so I’ll say it for her. The blind date with Jim was worth it. Take control.

When One Is That Sad

Choose the right place to meet. A movie is not a good choice for a first date, nor is a loud rock concert. A lunch or dinner date, meeting for a cup of coffee, or even something like miniature golf can make for a great first date. Choose a place where you and your date can talk, observe, and interact. Whatever activity you choose, keep your date under two hours. A meal is always a good choice for a blind date because it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. When the check comes, your date is over. If it seems too brief, make another date! Don’t let the fixer upper go on the date with you. If you want to bring your matchmaker along for the initial introduction, that’s fine. But agree ahead of time that after ten minutes, he or she will duck out. Chat up the person who introduced you. Need to get the conversation going? Start by bringing up the person who introduced the two of you.

Sometimes The Good Guys Finish First

This simple conversation starter gives you both a chance to talk about something other than yourself right away. Arrive with an open and positive mind. Show up with the attitude that this date is an opportunity to meet someone you might not have otherwise met. Even if you don’t have romantic chemistry, you may have found a potential friend. Last but certainly not least on the list of top dating strategies is online dating. I’m a huge advocate of online dating, and it’s with good reason. Last year alone, twice as many marriages occurred for couples who met online than for those who met in bars, clubs, and other social events combined. Over the past year, the number of people aged fifty and older who use online dating has grown twice as fast as any other age group. And over the past decade, the number of baby boomers who use online dating has more than doubled. According to Match.com, in 2000, 24 percent of baby boomer members visited the dating site each day. Over the past ten years, online dating has become a successful way to meet someone who is compatible. Trust me, this isn’t by accident. Many online dating services hire psychologists, like me, to assist with how the sites are structured, how online profiles are developed, and how potential dates are matched and recommended to members. In fact, I am the relationship expert, the largest online dating community catering to singles over fifty years old. It’s a way to get your feet wet. You can flirt in your pajamas.