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Does Any Of My Story Sound Familiar To You?
 
What  did  I  need  to  cover  up?  Unable  to  fall  asleep,  I  tossed  and  turned  for  hours.  Behind  locked  car  doors  and  windows,  I  made  the  call.  I  don’t  know  what  happened  to  me  today,  I  began.  And  then  I  just  kept  going.  The  nurse  was  a  pro.  She  asked  if  I  had  had  any  suicidal  thoughts.  I  laughed,  embarrassed  by  the  question,  but  she  pressed  on.  Situational  anxiety  was  her  diagnosis.  She  didn’t  baby  me,  and  she  told  me to see a doctor. And  I  did  just  that.  What  I  was  looking  for  was  a  way  to  hide  the  anxiety  should  another  panic  attack  come  on.  I  just didn’t  think  my  career  trajectory  could  afford  that  kind  of  setback.  
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I  also  acquired  a  whole  new  set  of  tools  for  camouflaging  an  oncoming  blast  of  anxiety  and  stress,  which  happened  on  a  fairly  routine  basis.  I  would  start  to  sweat.  Perspiration  is  the  body’s  cooling  mechanism.  My  new  set  of  tools  could  prevent  or  at  least  disguise  the  fact  that  I  was  sweating,  and  that  could  maybe  nip  in  the  bud  the  anxiety  attack  that might follow. That’s  why  I  was  always  on  the  lookout  for  clear  deodorant,  and  it’s  why  I  kept  a  good  supply  of  it  at  the  ready.  I  swabbed  it  on  my  hands  in  case  of  sweaty  palms,  and  I  strategically  dabbed  it  on  my  forehead  and  on  my  face  so  that  any  sweat  that  did  occur  wouldn’t  show.  I  soon  realized  that  the  cases  produced  a  rattling  sound,  so  I  instead  stuck  the  pills  onto  a  strip  of  Listerine  Cool  Mint.  I  thought  so,  although  in  retrospect,  it’s  more  sad  than  clever,  no?  I  figured  people  were  assuming  I  was  knocking  back  a  breath  sweetener,  while  in  reality  I  was  reaching  for  something  to  prevent  the  fear  I  kept  under  wraps  from  suddenly  breaking  loose.  Of  course,  I  still  fought  the  Sunday  Night  Scaries  because  the  cause  of  the  Scaries  hadn’t  gone  anywhere.  In  fact,  in  ten  years  of  Sunday  Night  Scaries,  I  never  even  managed  to  ask  myself  what  I  was  scared  of.  My  career  was  going  gangbusters,  I  was  making money, I was getting the  titles  and  the  promotions  and  the prestige of  it  all,  and  in  my  own  way  and  with  the  help  of  Xanax  and  deodorant,  I  was  coping.  It  never  even  dawned  on  me  that  there  was anything  odd  about  adjusting  my  behavior in this way,  nor  did  it  ever  occur  to  me  to  ask  myself  whether  I  just  might  be  selling my  soul.  Hand In Hand 
Does  any  of  my story  sound  familiar  to  you?  Anything  ring  a  bell?  What  did  you  relate to  in  what  I’ve  just  told  you?  Or  maybe working from home through the whole long pandemic just got you questioning whether you were really going to spend your whole life  on  a  career  path  that  suddenly  looked  so  safe  you  might  as  well  sleep  through  it.  It  sounds so rational. It sounds like  something  you  can  do.  You  can  write  your  own  script,  and  you  can  dress  comfortably  in  your  own  skin  as  you  do  it.  Finding  a  healthy,  fulfilling  career  means  doing  it  your  way.  Within  them,  the  possibilities  for  you  to  find  the  career  and  the  lifestyle  right  for  you  are  endless.  But  getting  to  that  career  and  lifestyle  is  a  process.  I  did  it  because  I  knew  that,  one  way  or  another,  it  would  put  me  on  a  path  that  did  not  leave  my  life  behind.  What’s  more,  I knew that if this restart came apart at the seams, I still had the strategies to continue to  refresh  my  career.  These  are  the  very  strategies  I’m  going  to  share  with  you.  It’s  what  I  failed to do for as long as I could keep my reality in the closet, and if it’s where  you  are  right  now,  trust  me,  you’re  going  to  have  to  go  back  in  time,  do  a  reverse,  and  retrace  how  you  got  here.  It’s  time  to  challenge  the  blueprint  we  all  grew  up  with,  the  one  that  sketched  out  what  our  future  should  look  like.  Into The Great Wide Open
Then  I’ll  help  you  create  a  whiteboard  where  you  analyze  what’s  wrong  with  your  present  career,  set  new  priorities  for  the  career  you  want,  and  review  the  practical  options  for  achieving  the  career  and  lifestyle  you  seek.  I  can’t  emphasize  enough,  however,  the  importance  of  being  totally  honest  as  you  approach  each  of  these  strategies,  especially  the  very  first,  breaking  the  blueprint  and  taking  a  good,  hard,  accurate  look  at  your  life  right  now.  You’re  going  to  have  to  overcome  all  that  corporate  training  and  open  yourself  up  so  you  can  see  inside.  I  used  pills  and  clear  deodorant  to  get  through  ten  years  of  a  career  that  was  considered  super  successful  by  everybody  but  me.  Believe  me  when  I  tell  you  that  there  isn’t  enough  Xanax  or  deodorant  on  earth  or  in  the  heavens  to  keep  the  walls  from  falling  in  on  you,  especially  if,  like  me,  you  put  some  of  those  walls  up  on  your  own.  The  only  requirement is  honesty.  Growing  up,  I  always  assumed  that success was a good job  in  a  good  organization  that  would  take  care  of  me  as  long  I  did  what was asked  of  me.  One  thing I didn’t  count  on  was  the  Sunday  Night  Scaries  and a deep sense  of  unhappiness.  Finding  a  healthy,  fulfilling  career  means  doing  it  your  way.  But  getting  to  that  career  and  lifestyle  is  a  process.  Challenge  the  blueprint!  The  only  requirement  is  honesty.  We  all  grew  up  with  one.  A  blueprint  was  the  unwritten  plan  for  what  kind  of  life  we  would  live  later  on.  It  contained  all  those  unspoken  expectations  and  norms  and  pressures  that we accepted without  even thinking  about them.  They were built in, part of the structure  of our lives  and our  families,  like  Thanksgiving  and  summer  vacations.  Put  another  way,  the  blueprint  instilled  in  us  what  we  should  do  to  personify  the model  of  professional  accomplishment.