Be On The Lookout For Potential Giftings

Our own detox has been tremendously valuable in parenting five children as individuals, and in trying to identify how to love them well and cultivate their interests. He had always enjoyed drawing. But with time and brain space freed up during our detox, his creativity exploded. He asked for an opportunity to share his skills with the family by teaching a drawing class one night. After we removed passive screen watching from her days, she took to learning everything she can about makeup and beauty. Caroline watches carefully as I apply facial lotion, asking tons of questions. She plans imaginary parties and makes paper invitations to mail out to friends. Watching her gravitate toward what interests her has been immensely enjoyable as a parent. We paint nails together and color pictures. The world is her oyster, and I have a better understanding of which opportunities will interest her as she grows. Your digital detox will be like removing a filter. You will instantly see more clearly how your kids are uniquely made.

Bent, But Not Broken

Each of their kids began college by age twelve. One became the youngest female doctor in the United States. Another child was an engineer. Several have become lawyers. Kip and Mona Lisa carefully observed how their young kids approached life. These parents studied their children’s unique personalities and passions. Then they helped their kids uncover the path that aligns with the way each child is wired. They equipped each child according to their individual interests and skill sets, unleashing and then cultivating tremendous potential. My dad, on the other hand, would take it to heart. He would sign them up for the next Space Camp and introduce them to a friend of a friend who cleans rockets. Rosannah had shown an interest in drawing at an early age. Admittedly, not every parent wants their child entering college at twelve.

No Line on the Horizon

But we can all agree that the Hardings have done something exceptional. They’ve unleashed their kids’ unique passions and skills. Too many of our parenting days are rushed. We are trying to get through the day, dropping on the couch, exhausted. So we send our kids to watch another show, play another game. It’s time to take control. When your kids have moved out and you look back on your years of parenthood, what do you hope to see? You don’t want to look back and see that you spent these short years merely getting through. You want to have spent them well. You want to create lasting memories with your kids, teaching, training, investing in them. And in order to best invest in the people we love most, we need to get to know them better. As parents, we are continually looking for ways to connect and grow closer to our kids as they get older. The most connected we have been as a family, the most clarity of purpose and drive we have experienced together happened as soon as we removed screens.

Behind Closed Doors

It began the day we started our digital detox. As a parent, you will gain intense clarity when you remove the screens that have been numbing out your kids. Give your kids ample opportunities to make use of downtime without parental direction. Some kids might hit the ground running toward their favorite interests. Others might need a gentle nudge. Here are tips for creating spaces to identify talents and skills during their detox. Take a hike, a walk, a bike ride. Let your child give input on location and means of transportation if possible. Is your child gravitating toward a bike every time? Teach him how to pump up a flat tire. Does one child love hiking? Point out the features on your hike. Does one child stare at the wildflowers a little longer than the others? Read it aloud together. Bring it on your hike. Show her how to press flowers. Does another child stop to stare at bugs, fearless of creepy crawlers? Initiate a bug hunt in the backyard. Can you find an earwig outside? Time spent outside is proven to reduce stress and improve cognition and sleep. Kids are missing opportunities each day to take advantage of this free and abundant resource. No need to get fancy here, Gordon Ramsay. Boxed cake mix is all you need. Start small and see if your child is interested. Your smallest helpers can dump premeasured oil into the bowl or crack an egg. Try this with your kids. Assign them responsibilities like snack maker, and give them options. Crackers with cheese? If one child is always lingering when you bake or cook, give him a few tools and a little freedom and watch what happens. Assign presentations. Ask your children to become experts in a very specific topic of their choosing, and have them teach the family about it after dinner one night. Pay attention to the topics they choose. They are ten, nine, and seven. Younger children can easily contribute. Simplify the instructions. We love instilling a family culture that values continual learning about our beautiful, diverse world. Create a talent show night. The morning, tell your kids to think of a special talent they would like to share with the family that evening. Watch their eyes grow in anticipation of their big moment. What does each child choose? What interests or talents are they clearly communicating to us when they can pick anything under the sun? One teenage foster daughter sang beautifully for us during a family talent show. She vulnerably shared that her song selection ministered to her during trauma she had faced. We learned so much about this beautiful young lady in four minutes. She beamed as she gave instructions and her older siblings followed them. As parents, we were able to observe how much this child loves to lead. That information helps us in knowing jobs we can give her around the home, extracurricular ideas, and even tips for her teacher when she is having a difficult day at school.