Feeling Pressured To Make A Terrible Choice?

Disabling the ability to send and receive photos removes the temptation for kids to send private photos in the first place. No sending or receiving photos. They might say that they don’t like this, but internally, think of the relief. Even if they’re peer pressured, our kids can blame their parents for the inability to do something that will later lead to regret. What parents wouldn’t happily be an excuse for their child feeling pressured to make a terrible choice? How many stories have you heard of teen girls sending nude photos to an adolescent boyfriend, who forwards them to his entire football team or posts them online? The permanency of momentary indiscretion can’t be overstated. Parents get the final say as to when kids can send and receive photos. If you’ve allowed thirty minutes per day for Instagram, once the time has been met, the app simply will not open. You have decided that your daughter is ready for a social media account. Or sitting with Mom or Dad as they look through her feed together. At any time, Amy can toggle between the accounts, checking direct messages, profiles, followers, and notifications. We implemented this for every teenager who lived in our home through foster care. None had data plans on the phones they brought into our home.

Something For You

At around 6:03 the girls would inevitably show up in the kitchen, ready to hang out and chat. You and your spouse can come to these decisions together while your child grows in wisdom and responsibility. By the time your child is a senior in high school, your goal is to move them toward almost no parentally imposed restrictions at all. But your kids are moving toward adulthood slowly. Your rules for tech will taper off gradually, like the launch scaffolding for a space shuttle. Picture a shuttle roaring into the sky. The poles that served a critical purpose prelaunch fall away after serving their purpose. As a mom to many, I was observing how unique each child is. Our kids are all wired so differently from one another, it makes me think that parents have less ability to impact how our kids turn out than I initially thought, I said. My friend Cayla quietly listened and then smiled and shook her head. Parents have the power to change their kids’ lives, even the unruliest kids. I know this, because I was a terrible child, she said, in her characteristically sweet Cayla voice.

Army Of One

As soon as the words came out, I almost laughed because I didn’t believe her. Cayla is a doting mother and selfless friend. I didn’t believe she was a terrible kid because she’s a phenomenal adult. She could see the doubt on my face. I’m serious! She smiled. When I was a teenager, I sneaked off and started dating a guy. My parents had no clue. I’d hide it in the bushes near my house and he’d come and get it. He was bad news, and so was his dad. We talked about how they could help me get emancipated from my parents. We talked about running away together. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

Do It Now

They read the whole thing. They knew everything. And they took away every bit of privacy I had. They pulled me out of school and homeschooled me. They even took my bedroom door off its hinges! Of course I said I was mad at them. But internally I remember feeling a huge sense of relief that I didn’t have to hide anymore. It was a full year before I began earning back the trust I had broken. Looking back, I am so, so grateful. I’ve thanked them over and over again. My parents saved me. The story of forbidden teenage love isn’t new. But the ease through which our kids can make terrible choices is. When we hand our kids a smartphone, we give them total accessibility without accountability. I think about Cayla’s parents often, encouraged by their commitment to fight for their daughter, even when she protested. While this tactic was exactly what Cayla needed, it may not be able to be generally applied to every single instance of teenage rebellion with equal success. But it highlights the importance of parental discernment and resolve. Confidently create your plan and parameters based on your parental insight. Don’t abandon your powerful role as parents when your kids need you most. The stakes are too high. All technology has no conscience of its own. Whether it will become a force for good or ill depends on man. My phone’s Bluetooth wasn’t connecting. We have to listen to what’s on the radio. I can’t control anything about how the song plays. You know, back when I was a kid, we’d have to call in to radio stations to request songs that we wanted to hear. I’d scramble to record it on a cassette tape so that I could listen to that song whenever I wanted. It was way different back then, huh? Who is Britney Spears? So much has changed in the digital world over the past fifty years, it’s hard to keep up. Remember when a Walkman and then Discman were high tech? Remember the sound of a landline’s dial tone? Man cannot live on screens alone. And there are certainly plenty. Your detox has no doubt clarified this for you. First, we will explore the ways tech can serve your family as a tool and not as captor. If it helps, put the tech in its proper place. If it hinders, toss it. If yes, put it in its proper place, or toss it altogether. Say your sixth grader enjoys using a device to call or text a friend. Your family’s goals include helping your kids make and cultivate friendships. Sounds like a good use of tech as a tool! But once that helpful tool is moved into a bedroom, new hazards emerge. Does that further your family’s goal to connect with each other?