To Help Your Family Member

A parent’s or sibling’s mental illness frequently affects the children in the family. Try to understand that she may have times when she does not want to open up to you. Also, don’t expect her to share the details of deeply private therapy conversations. This is true even if it’s not spoken of openly in the home. Children usually observe the behavior and language of their parents and pick up on the subtle cues of depression. Explain what’s going on before their imaginations take over. For example, if you have a young child you might say, Daddy’s not feeling very well right now. He is very sad and has trouble doing some of the things he usually likes to do. We all have to be very patient now. He talked with his doctor and is getting medication so that he will feel better. He’s going to be okay. He still loves you very much.

Prisoner Of Life

The siblings of someone who has depression may need the same type of attention. The vulnerability of a depressed person and the stability of the family are often connected. In addition, families often vary in their ability to adapt to stress. Their social and financial resources, the family makeup, the availability of social support, and the presence of other illnesses may influence this. Dealing with a mood disorder in a family member is a lot to handle. It requires patience, persistence, determination, and courage on your part. Try to be objective. Do your best to avoid getting caught up in the whirlwind of what your family member is saying and doing. Try to focus on her underlying feelings and emotional pain and respond to those. All of this can put pressure on you and other family members. It can lead to burnout unless you take steps to monitor and care for yourselves. What exactly is burnout? Burnout refers to the symptoms and emotions you may have from the stress of caring for someone.

Don't Change My Mind

Burnout is the result of too many demands on your strength, resources, time, and energy. The situation goes beyond your ability to deal with it. Burnout is a fairly common experience among caregivers. The best way is to take time to care for yourself. Instead, it enables you to be a more available and productive support person. Do your best to care for yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Try to get sufficient and regular sleep, exercise, and relaxation. Many caregivers find balance and relaxation in a yoga class or meditation exercises. Some people find brief supportive psychotherapy helpful at these times. This might include joining a support group specifically for friends and families of those with depression. In addition, do your best to keep your usual routine and structure in your life. Try to manage life’s little daily stressors before they explode into unmanageable problems.

Everyone Is Fine

You might break large tasks into smaller projects, prioritize the demands placed on you, and learn to say no on occasion. The more you learn, the better you will be able to cope with it. A clear understanding may empower you to help your family member even more. Set clear limits on what you can do and try not to overcommit. Make sure your family member understands this. Work, eat, sleep, exercise, socialize, and relax. Keep those a priority, and try not to allow your family member’s needs to overshadow them. Your ability to open up may go far in connecting with her. Remember that she is seeing the world through a negative, distorted lens. Depression can impair her ability to express her thoughts, wishes, and needs. Try to understand that she may believe she is unlovable and unworthy of affection. This might include picking up the laundry, walking the dog, going to the post office, or taking the time to listen and support you. You cannot do this alone. Avoid becoming a controlling force in her life. But what if you have tried to do many of these things and find yourself feeling sad, down, or thinking that you, too, may be depressed? That is not common, but it can happen. Aim for balance and a familiar routine in your life. Engage as much support for yourself as possible from your close friends and other family members. This may also be the time for you to speak with your primary care provider or family doctor, who will ask you questions and assess your situation. You and he or she can then decide if you need to see a mental health professional in the short term. Find a support group for family members like you to be particularly helpful as well. Personal experiences from our past flavor the illness, our relationships, our life events, and our work. As a result, we all have varying needs when it comes to receiving help from others. For some of us, receiving such help is a major challenge. It may make us feel vulnerable, needy, inadequate, or dependent. Others accept help much more easily. Try to remember this when you offer to help someone who has depression. It can be a most useful reference or tool in your efforts to aid someone in distress. Some find it helpful to review each key point thoughtfully and slowly. Some people are very private about their feelings. Others may want to talk about their depression. If someone confides in you, keep the conversation to yourself. Ask him how much he wants others to know. Respect his decisions even if you disagree. Let him be the one to determine if it’s too much to manage. He may appreciate conversations and activities that don’t involve depression. You won’t be effective at helping another if you are burned out. This can cause him to feel dismissed rather than supported. Before just saying, You’ll be fine, think about whether you’re only trying to calm your own anxiety. Understand that this is a biologically based illness. Thank you for taking this journey with me. This may help you avoid burnout.