What Could Be Kinder?

Which insights emerge from your dream? What from your dream could accompany you during your day? What aspects of your day could accompany you into your dreams? Against a background of growing acceptance, we begin to choose our thoughts, using new patterns to sharpen our preferences and to take action towards a preferred future. We recognize that we’re not sure what will happen, and we see what’s possible. Even if we have lost other loved ones, each relationship is unique and therefore our experience of their loss will also be particular to that person and this time. Beginner’s Mind encourages us to let the experience unfold. This thinking practise involves one part of the mind observing and witnessing all that is happening in the moment. We notice ourselves, our thoughts, and our actions as observers with a little distance. Moreover, we make sure that the gaze we have is a kind one. When we first learn to do this, we use hindsight to look back on a situation and see ourselves clearly. As we practise, we learn to do it in the moment itself. It frees us from judgement as we are gently and objectively aware of ourselves and others. To ponder What are the messages you give yourself? What could be kinder? What are the judgements you’re making about others? This pattern involves thinking about thinking. We bring some attention to the types of thoughts we are having, and we identify those that will best serve us.

All The Things

If we find ourselves thinking about all that could go wrong in a new situation, some metacognition would recognize what’s happening and deliberately explore some more positive possibilities. What do you notice about your thinking at this time? How are your current thought patterns supporting you? Healing can be supported when we focus on what we have and remind ourselves that we have enough. Working with what we have, rather than what we want, can build a sense of abundance and hope. What do you have enough of at the moment? What would you like to expand? Some of the powerlessness we experience in grief can be overcome with the knowledge that we can choose our thoughts and our actions. Losing a loved one is not of our choosing, but how we come to terms with that reality is partly defined by our choices. They may seem limited for a time, but you can practise thinking positively and productively in order to reshape your life. I felt I had to go back to work after my husband had died but it was so hard. The most useful thought was the idea that I was choosing to be there and at any time I could choose to leave. At times I felt as if I had no choice, but I came to see that there were options about where and how and how often I worked. Eventually I chose different work. Sometimes others may remind us to defer big decisions for a period of time while we are grieving, but the demands for small choices about daily living remain. Focus on a choice you’re trying to make.

Taking A Chance

It lies in the throat, at the base of the neck, and when it is activated, we recognize what is happening for us, we know our own mind, and our communication flows freely. You may notice that your breathing is shallow or even catches in your throat. Your voice may be affected as you experience some constriction in the throat. Even if you know what you want to say you might find it hard to say it aloud. You may even have the physical experience of losing your voice during grief. There may be things you wish you’d said while your loved one was alive, or you may regret some things that were said. There may be things you’d like to express now but it seems impossible. Your energy may be so reduced that you feel that everyday communication is beyond you. These can be painful conversations full of words you never expected or wanted to say. There may also be moments when others decide what you need or disregard your preferences. At first, you may to go along with what others say or choose silence, so you don’t rock the boat, but part of the healing of grief is noticing what you need and expressing feelings, thoughts, and your truth. Restoring your ability to listen to and express your inner self relies on the energy of the throat chakra.

Faster And Faster To Nowhere

With practise, honest communication eventually requires less effort and we find ourselves able to respond with ease to our inner and outer worlds. What would be the most powerful thing you could say to yourself right now? What would you like to say to another? What are you worried you might say? If you felt safe to speak freely, what would you say? Taking time to notice which feelings are present each day. Where would you like to have more clarity? What could help you express yourself? In which aspect of life do you feel most unsettled? What’s the best thing you could do for yourself at this time? Visualize a gorgeous blue. Play with it in your imagination until you have the perfect shade for you. Allow that to fill every corner of your mind, every part of your body, especially the throat centre and your neck, jaw, and mouth. Close your eyes and complete an inside scan, sensing into your inner self, just noticing what you notice and not straining after any particular sensation. What are a couple of words you might use to describe your state? Wear blue clothing or accessories to remind yourself of the need for listening to and expressing your inner self. Connect yourself with that energy as you begin to heal. Use your breath to consciously access your throat, breathing deeply into that space and drawing on the powerful energy of expression. Place your hand gently on your throat.